Re-ignite Your Relationship Passion Using Your Unconscious Blueprints™
If the passion has disappeared from your marriage or relationship, then perhaps your unconscious blueprint of your spouse has morphed into another annoying teenager to pick up after, or a passion-killing ‘father figure’. Know it is possible to turn him back into that stud-muffin you fell in love with!
My WNA blog post “Introducing Your Unconscious Blueprints™” was published on 8 December 2017, and explains how our internal images, our ‘unconscious blueprints’ of ourselves, programmes our behaviour. So yes, your unconscious blueprint of yourself could be the issue, if it’s an unattractive, unhappy disempowering image. Assuming you’ve taken action, either through appropriate mindset coaching or D.I.Y. with “The Face Within: How To Change Your Unconscious Blueprint” book, to optimise your conscious blueprint of yourself, it could be your internal image of your spouse causing the problem.
Our unconscious blueprints of others determine how we perceive and therefore treat them. Over time in a relationship, our values, roles and appearance can and do change. If you’ve slipped into ‘mothering’ your spouse, then at some point you’ll want him to grow up and leave home, just as you, and most other animals on the planet, naturally intend for your offspring. If you refer to him as ‘Dad’ or ‘Father’, spend your time together talking about the children and only socialising with the children, then your unconscious blueprint of him can morph into a passionless parental image. Likewise, his image of you could become ‘Mum’.
So, what to do? Obviously re-programming your unconscious blueprints is the fastest way, plus having an open, loving, respectful and tactful conversation with your spouse. To compliment these actions, or as an interim measure, time travel back to the earlier times when you enjoyed a passionate connection, and re-live it, noting what you saw, heard, felt, tasted, smelt. Also note what you said and thought to yourself, and what he said and did, to amplify your passionate connection with your spouse.
Use these insights to adjust your behaviour and self-talk now. Focus on what’s still there, for example his eyes and smile, rather than on what’s not, if his 6-pack has ballooned out with too many six packs! Start with small changes, or leap into it, if you’re sure you won’t scare him silly! Reminiscing, using photos if you wish, can help you both reconnect with the love and passion that may have faded. For some, imagining you were just meeting, getting to know each other, dating, enjoying the excitement and promise of new romance is a great kick-start.
Be careful you don’t fall into the trap of thinking you know your spouse inside and out. You don’t, any more than he knows you. We all have private thoughts and feelings, and we all shift and change over time. Hopefully reconnecting will enable you both to grow along aside each other, rather than continue to drift apart.
Feel free to ask any questions about your unconscious blueprints™, or anything else this post triggers for you. I’m here to help.
