Help! I Can’t Get a Word In!
Have you ever felt like this? Like you were in the middle of an awesome story and someone jumps in and takes over? And they always seem to have a bigger better story?? You may be dealing with a Playful Communicator and how they listen or not……. in communication
In our recent post, we discussed the importance of being able to listen. In my Communication DNA model I teach of the 4 communication DNA styles. The Powerful, Playful, Patient and Perfectionist. In today’s post I will outline how the Playful Communication DNA style deals with the idea of listening. Their struggle is different to the Powerful Communicator but their struggle is real and can affect Communication.
The Playful Communicator, they are warm, funny, talkative and speak in stories. They always strive for RECOGNITION and love social interaction. They naturally are attracted to positions of contact and interaction with people. Why? Because they love to be the centre of attention.
This Communicator has no issue speaking up if it is to make a joke, be funny or tell a story. They’re also great at motivating others into change as they are incredibly optimistic. You may agree that these are strengths.
The struggle they face is listening because they get bored, unless it is the most fantastic story they have ever heard. If they are not butting in with a bigger better story they may be glazing over which is just as off putting, they may even wander off mid sentence and seek out something else bright and shiny.
The unaware Playful Communicator can offend when fail to listen, as they can hog the limelight, offend someone by butting in with a joke, or when they seem insincere as it seems to be all about them.
The sad thing is this is not the intention of the Playful communicator at all. They have spoken up, or interrupted to improve things but this may not be the result. The Playful communicator just wants you to like them, that is all…..They sincerely believe if you hear them you will love them.
So, what can you do?
If you relate to this, you have so many strengths so don’t feel like this is bad news…. Not at all, in fact only a few small tweaks are needed to improve the results when you need to listen.
Firstly, be aware that as much as you love to be listened to, so do others! Consider pausing so others can add to the conversation, in fact ask them to share their stories, then shhhhh!! Even though it may be really tough! Be aware that listening and allowing others to speak will make you seem more likeable. Exactly what you love!
Practice active listening, where you keep eye contact, make listening sounds like ahh, Hmm mmm and nod your head. Be open to others contributing, sum up what they have said to ensure you heard them correctly. This should be the beginning of a conversation not the end of it. Before you know you will be the most popular person because you are entertaining and a great listener.
If you are struggling with a Playful Communicator remember their intention is to improve things and do not take their crazy, zany, chatty style personally. They just want you to like them.
If they have interrupted you, don’t get upset, smile and politely let them know you hadn’t finished. If they get overly excited, gently let them know that you’d love to hear their story when you finish yours. They just get so excited and want you to like them.
Next time we will spend some time explain how the Patient DNA style has their own strengths when it comes to listening.
Until then Care Connect and be a Courageous Communicator.
Let’s change the world we live in one conversation at a time.